Do you ever find yourself in a situation where you can’t help but ask God what his reasoning behind it is?
Lately, I have found myself constantly trying to figure out why I’m in a certain place, doing certain things, with certain people. And lately, I’ve also found out that sometimes we won’t ever actually know the reasoning behind why God leads us to new places, or even old places. And, that’s ok.
As a college student who attends an out-of-state university that has only ever lived in the same town for my entire life, i’ve been starting to wonder the question from above: Why Am I Here? It’s May 2017 and I have officially finished my freshman year of college. I can honestly say that this year has been one of the best years of my life. This year I have learned more about myself than I have learned in all of my years combined. And it’s been a wild, wild roller coaster ride. I’ve started to realize that they weren’t lying when they told you really do begin to find yourself once you goto college and start living on your own.
With that being said, I’ve been thinking about all of the things I have learned this year. One of them being that I realized that I don’t know if the place I once seemed to be so very sure about, is the place I’m supposed to be in.
For months, I have gone back and forth with myself about whether or not I am where I want to be. I have absolutely loved every minute being here and that no matter what, I will always consider this place as my home away from home, but I’ve also learned that I am in need of something else. Something more.
I whole heartedly believe that God purposely brings you to a new place (or an old place) for a reason. I also believe that sometimes he takes you somewhere, even if it’s just for a short amount of time, to teach you a lesson about yourself that you would’ve never been able to learn elsewhere. And with that being said, I think that God purposely brought me here to help me figure out what it is that i’m looking for.
Throughout the year, it’s been made very clear that I am not the same person I was a year ago, I honestly feel like a complete different person. And, I get it. Change happens. But it’s also been made clear to me, that I am not the person I want to be. I have turned into the person I told myself I didn’t ever want to become. But honestly, I’m not mad about it whatsoever because without these changes, I would have never been able to figure out who it is that I actually want to be.
And so this is where it begins, my adventure.
After months of constant prayer, I am beginning to learn that it’s ok to leave wherever it is that you are and go somewhere new. I have always been someone that has thought of leaving as a sign of weakness but through this, I have learned that leaving actually shows that you are brave, that you are strong, and that you are so much more than weak. I no longer look at leaving as giving up, instead I have began looking at it as getting started.
As I continue figuring out where it is that I’m headed to next, I have begun wondering and repeatively asking God the question, “Why Am I Here?”, out of pure excitement for what is coming next. I am ready to go where He leads me and I am ready to begin working on finding myself in the process. I’m about to make this world my playground and I am SO excited.
Here’s to this new adventure.
Feel free to follow me along the way as I begin the life I want to live.